The Not So Glorious Return

Thus begins my glorious return to blogging! I realize it's been awhile since my last post and to anyone who has actually been keeping tabs on my blog, I apologize for my absence! I am getting married this upcoming May, I work full-time, and, as I have mentioned before, I have a lazy streak... Oddly enough none of these excuses are why I have been away. The real reason I have not sent my fingers dancing over the keyboard is that I have not had anything to say. I like my posts to be like scrambled eggs – light and fluffy with a dash of something extra for flavor (sarcasm is better than pepper). I really hate politics and social issues but it's difficult not to feel as though we're drowning in both these days. I used to listen to talk radio on my way to and from work and several weeks ago I realized I could not take it any more and opted for Pandora instead. I now start my days driving over the speed limit with techno damaging my speakers (and ears) but at least when I arrive at my chosen destination I do not feel as though my heart has sunk and my blood pressure has climbed.

Some people live for confrontation and the thrill of a debate. I am quite the opposite. Perhaps it is due to my being a middle child or maybe it's just that I have never been particularly good at winning arguments. We can always play it safe and opt for both. I know a fair number of people who enjoy this kind of thing, even thrive on it. In spite of this I still love them and still hang out with them, though I admit my entire being cringes if I am present when the games begin. I'm not the wishy-washy person running in the middle crying “Why can't we all just along?!” but I'm closer to that than the “Take no prisoners” individual. I guess I'm wondering where the balance is. I have no idea and I worry that by the time I figure it out I will have let far too many situations creep by where I should have stood up for my beliefs or. at the very least, stood up for something with a better defense than stoic silence.

I have often said that one of the reasons that I love Fantasy literature is that it (usually) provides us with a reality in which Good and Evil are more stark. The protagonist, whether eager or reluctant, must go into battle and literally fight Evil. In some cases this may be an orc, goblin, dragon, mad king, witch, evil sorcerer, etc..... but the reality remains the same – Evil exists and must be stopped. Reality is not so easy. We do not fight merely one glorious battle but rather a million little skirmishes every day – washing the dishes, going to work, treating others with kindness, saying your prayers, etc. It is a wearying thing. Evil rarely introduces itself as such and can easily slip past our meager defenses. Would it not be easier if we could point to specific individuals or situations and be able to say “You see that disembodied glowing eye? Yeah, don't vote for that thing!” or “I dunno... that awesome looking sugar house may not be worth approaching after all, man”. I realize I'm rambling here, but it's late and, well, it is my blog after all.

In the end I am a very, very small person in a very, very big world. I have my beliefs, my loved ones, and prayer. Also, Pandora radio station. If you figure it all out let me know :)

xoxo Hannah

* I don't feel like using gender neutral terminology. Apologies if you're ridiculous sensitive to this**.

** I'm not really apologizing