Monday, November 12, 2012

The Baby Post

So it occurred to me the other day that my last post was in August (what?!). I keep meaning to do the "7 Quick Takes" thing but find myself so impossibly behind at the end of my Fridays that I promise myself that I will just post the following Friday... I have done this since August so clearly that didn't pan out the way I planned. For the sake of brevity I will be using this post to provide some baby updates. Yes, I realize your life is more complete - you're welcome.

Many couples out there love to keep others in suspense regarding their baby's gender and name. As much as I would love to believe that you would simply DIE from anticipation without us filling you in, Ben and I decided that secrets really aren't our style so...

We now know that we are expecting a baby boy. We are mostly set on the name but it isn't so fixed at this point that I'm gonna get it tattooed on my neck (that comes later, complete with Zodiac sign ). I would like to take this time to pat myself on the back and tell all of you that I predicted the gender from the beginning.
Sadly, this is more due to the fact that I had a 50% chance of being correct and happened to be right. In other words I am refusing to attribute it to "Mother's Intuition" and you can't make me. Which leads me on to....

...The wacky things I have heard throughout my pregnancy. I feel like I missed a real golden opportunity over the past few months in not keeping better track of some of the absolutely inane superstitions and/or practices people have regarding the human gestational process. That being said, here are a few for your consideration...

Gender Predicting Tools

- Hang a ring from a bit of thread. Ideally it would be your wedding or engagement ring but it can be any ring or even a needle if you find yourself in such a desperate situation. Rub it against your stomach (has to be skin clothing ruins the prediction) and then lift it up to see which direction it moves. Honestly I cannot remember if side-to-side means girl or if it's front-to-back. Guess I should grab some thread and put it to the test...
- If you dream that you are having a girl then you are having a boy.
- If you dream that you are having a boy then you are having a boy.
- If you have weird dreams then you are having a boy
- If you have weird dreams then you are having a girl

Wisdom That Lacks a Proper Category 

- If you put your hands in the air (higher than shoulders) the baby will strangle on the cord
- If you put your hands in the air (higher than shoulders) the baby will be born breech
- The more digestion issues and heartburn you have the more hair your baby will have
- The times you wake up at night are when your baby will need to feed. The exact time.
- You cannot have or get an STD while pregnant. Ever. Forget Africa.
- You should not lift anything while pregnant. I don't care if it is 30 lbs or 5 lbs. If you lift something heavier than a half-filled box of tissues you will do permanent damage to your unborn child.
- To avoid the unseemly "outie" belly button that occurs in late pregnancy simply place a quarter over the protruding flesh and secure it by wrapping a few layers of tape (or bandage) around yourself

.... and sadly these are the only gems I can remember. I promise to try to post more and not be the worst blogger of all time. Posted below is a semi-recent picture of our little guy. Despite having a good idea of his name I find myself referring to him as "kiddo" and "honey badger" far more than anything else.

He never seems to close his mouth... just like his mama
The first thing Ben said when he saw this was "He looks like Homer Simpson"

1 comment:

  1. Yay! I love my little honey badger homer simpson godson :)