7 Quick Takes : On Time Edition

Occasionally it occurs to me that I have a blog and ought to make attempts to keep it somewhat current. For the sake of full disclosure, when I use the term "current" it does not mean that I am actually keeping up on the latest blogging trends or that I have interesting things to say. If you are interested in that sort of thing then I suggest you visit the blogs belonging to Jen, Ana, or Grace. I find that the best way to view my blog as a sort of web-based Tourette Syndrome. What's that you say? This has nothing to do with "7 Quick Takes"? Very well. Off I go...

1) Part-Time : After 2+ years as a full-time crisis pregnancy counselor I have made the transition to part-time. My work week consists of three (MTW) full days of work and then, in essence, a four-day weekend. This means that I can actually schedule prenatal appointments, keep the apartment in (relative) order, and (hypothetically) make real meals for my husband to enjoy (did I mention that this was hypothetical?). It also means that when the winter weather really hits I will only have to skid down icy, snow-laden roads make my 30+ minute commute two or three days a week! I have looked forward to this for months and despite the constant questioning of my coworkers, YES, I AM SURE THIS IS WHAT I WANT! The only downside is that I now have no idea what day of the week it is and may or may not have stayed up until 1:30 AM Thursday morning to post this...... I remained oblivious to today being Thursday until having a chance conversation with my sister-in-law who gently set me straight.

2) Nesting : I recognize that this is entirely absurd, but whether it is the transition to part-time or the earliest onset of nesting EVER (we are due in mid-February), Ben and I have already set up the baby's Pack'n Play, washed, folded, and put away all the clothes we have received, and moved around the furniture as needed for baby's arrival. Speaking of which....

3) Boy Clothes : What the H is up with boy clothes? I realize that boys tend to like animals, machines, sports, etc. but must they really be plastered over every single article of clothing that they are meant to wear?! I don't see unicorns and mermaids and chocolate enveloping practically every inch of girl clothes! It seems to me that there must have been a man out there, perhaps the younger sibling to sisters who received their hand-me-downs and was scarred as a result, who made it his life's purpose to enter the world of baby boy couture and leave no onesie, overall, or bib without a symbol that proclaimed "I AM MALE!". I am not opposed to expressions of masculinity and I am not some wacky "gender neutral" enthusiast who thinks everything should be nothing but yellow or green. But seriously? Ok. Tirade complete!

"But I'm a real boy!"

4) Third Trimester : Despite having several weeks to go before being considered full-term, I have definitely reached a point where the pregnancy is not all fun and games. In other words, I have yet to find a position that is genuinely comfortable. I am including all positions so this is not merely limited to sitting. Over the course of the past several months I have acquired more and more pillows and now have what my husband affectionately refers to as my "Pillow Throne." Perhaps I need to continuing accumulating and I am just one or two away from complete Pregnancy-Pillow-Nirvana. Somehow I doubt it. As far as standing/walking/moving is concerned, I am pretty sure that my genetic code has a laziness gene so really I cannot be blamed for all that business.

5) Pregnancy & Fitness : I have complained inordinately mentioned in previous posts that my obstetrician and I have differing views regarding fitness/health and pregnancy -- he believes that I should avoid almost all grains, all sugar on God's green Earth (basically), eat mostly protein, veggies and fruits; I believe that no meal is really complete without a dessert, grain, starch, unnecessary fattening agent, or all of them combined! Doc had me meet with the nutritionist this week. And really, since words cannot capture what the experience was like, I have decided to provide a visual aid -->

"Repeat after me - sugar is poison!"

Regarding fitness, my ideal Pregnancy Fitness Program would involve me getting out of bed in the morning, moving around the apartment (as needed), and alternating between lying down and sitting (propped up by pillows) throughout the day. My doctor said that I should get a pedometer and try to aim for 10,000 steps per day. I have gone ahead and purchased a pedometer but I have a sneaking suspicion that my results will fall somewhat short (say by 8-9,000). Since it admits to being only "96 - 98%" accurate I believe the best course of action is to blame the pedometer for not counting properly.

6) Maternity Clothes : This week was huge for me regarding maternity clothes. Up to this point in pregnancy, I have gotten by using one (i.e. less than two but more than zero) pair of maternity jeans, three maternity shirts (one of the perks to liking baggy shirts - it's a trend I keep waiting to see rise up in the world of Fashion), and lots of returns to Gap Maternity, Old Navy Maternity, Motherhood, etc. I am not a short person but, as it turns out, my 5'11 frame is not quite tall enough to usher me into the hallowed halls of "Tall" fashion wear. This has resulted in me having to buy jeans that are either bizarrely long or absurdly short (I mean, in the end I do actually believe that the sexiest part on a women's body happens to be between the edge of her sock and the cuff of her pants. I'm sure you agree). Anyways, short story made long, I found a pair of maternity jeans that, while still overly long, fit. I purchased them and they are safely tucked into my dresser drawer. I plan on wearing them. Eventually. Maybe.

7) Topics : I should probably consider writing on other things beside pregnancy and babies. Maybe art so I can sound cultured. Oh, that reminds me! In preparation for the upcoming release of The Hobbit (midnight showing in 3D what?!) and because every baby-ist out there insists you ought to read to your child while in-utero, my husband and I have been taking turns reading Tolkien out loud at night. I would say that it is one of the nerdiest things I have ever done but my lying quota has been met for the day. At any rate, it has been a blast and even if the movie is just dreadful it has managed to infuse our evenings with a great deal of fun.

How our baby imagines us

 Happy Friday

Laziness : The Truth Revealed

I am going to start off with a quote from Albert Einstein

"The idle man does not know what it is to enjoy rest." 

It is precisely this kind of nonsense that this post is intended to correct. In the next few minutes and paragraphs I hope to clear up some misconceptions about laziness and get to the truth of the matter. I find myself uniquely qualified to comment on the subject as I am a lazy person. I find Einstein's comment to be both irrelevant and dubious. Why? Two reasons : 1) He was probably a workaholic and 2) He is deceased. That being said, I ask that you clear your mind, lay your presuppositions at the proverbial door, and believe everything I say without question. Ready? Perfect! Let's begin...

Laziness is hard. This is the deep, dark secret that those in positions of power and authority seek to keep. They would have us believe that laziness is "taking the easy way out" and leads to things like "sloth" and "lethargy" and French words like "apathie". And maybe they are right, but that does not mean it's a cakewalk! Who has a harder time, I ask you - the hardworking idealist or the slothful pragmatist? The idealist is full of energy and passion that propels him forward, leaving his fellow man behind in the dust with barely a second thought! Here are a few examples from my own personal life

1. It is much harder for me to get to work on time in the morning than it is for my coworkers because I lazily, repeatedly hit the "Snooze" button on my alarm clock instead of getting up when I ought to. By the time I actually rise from my bed I barely have enough time to slip into my clothes and race out the door!

2. Putting on my shoes takes more time because I did not undo the laces the night before when I lazily slipped them from my feet. I have to work that much harder than my fellow man just to put on my shoes!

3. It is harder for me to be proud because I do not take the time to do my hair like other women do. I have just about enough energy to do one of three things - 1) Brush it and leave it down 2) Pull it up into a ponytail or 3) Pull it up into a messy bun. Because of my laziness I cannot hope to walk down the street as if it were a catwalk or wow others with the luminous shine of my hair, the intricacy of a braid, or the elegance of a French twist!

4. I am often forced to eat the exact same type of meal multiple times a week because I am too lazy to prepare anything else or diversify when it comes time to go grocery shopping. On that note, I barely have any food in the house at all because I do not wish to go the grocery store in the first place!

5. I live amongst piles of unorganized materials (clothing, papers, etc.) and dust because I do not make myself clean properly or often! As a result not only does my physical health suffer, but my mental health is often affected as well! Sometimes I even forget what folded laundry looks like....

6. I have a much harder time winning an argument or sounding intelligent because I was lazy in all the years of school that I attended. How easy it is for individuals like Einstein to mock those of us who cannot recall the year of the Revolutionary War or what the difference is between Communism and Capitalism - they both begin with a "C", darn you!!!!

Now that you have had just a sampling of my own personal testimony, I hope that you will use care and caution in the future before judging those who have less drive and fortitude than yourself. It is important to note, however, that I believe the U.S. Government, E.U., etc. have made fantastic strides in the past several years in recognizing, supporting, and even furthering laziness! I can only hope that the enlightened attitude that they possess will be adopted by others and we can put these lies and misconceptions to rest once and for all.

I would write more, but I find that my fingers have grown cold and need a rest before I go play a video game.......